Hey peeps.  Well to begin with I'm pregnant and have suddenly become a bloodhound in that I can sniff anything out.  I'm very sensitive to smells and even the slightest whiff of something foul in my mind will set my gag reflex off.  Strange thing is that the smell of ranch dressing may repulse me one minute, then suddenly sound like the best thing in the world 30 minutes later. Really, really strange!  Anyway.  This weekend I made myself some pretty darn yummy pasta w/ chicken. Well before I cooked the chicken I cut off all the fat and threw it away.  Only problem was I FORGOT TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT.  So fast-forward to this morning. I'm not quite sure how it happened because I didn't smell it last night before I went to bed, but when I woke up around 3am for a glass of water it had managed to ferment to the same odor level a road-killed rodent, it about made me throw up.  Imagine that.  Sleepy Annie stumbling through the dark and into the kitchen with her eyes closed (I've found that keeping them closed helps me fall back asleep more easily), then suddenly doubling over in a wretched fashion as I gag to death in my "Save The Manatee" over sized tee-shirt my Grandma got me from Disney World about 15 years ago.  So I was too tired to take the trash out, so I just shut my bedroom door and hoped the odor wouldn't leak through under the door.  Oh gosh, it was so horrible.  But the really sad part was at 3am I had the "sleepy stupids" and honestly had no idea where the smell was coming from. For all I knew a squirrel had found it's way into my home to spend it's last living moments in air conditioning and then proceeded to decompose under my dining room table. UGH!!  So this morning when I woke up to get ready for work, I immediately put my ancient "Save the Manatee" tee shirt collar up over my nose & took the trash out.  It was RAUNCHY!  I'm usually much better at taking out the trash, especially if I've thrown away any kind of food, but I just completely forgot that time. Well guess what people; this prego lady learned her lesson! Never again will I let raw meat germs roam free in my trashcan! 

Had my first doctor's appointment yesterday.  The day started not that great because I forgot my referral letter at home from my insurance company. So from work I called the doctors office, told them my name and explained that I'd forgotten by referral letter and asked if my insurance card would be enough, the receptionist told me that I would need both, so then I had to schedule another 30 minutes off from my job to go home first, then go to the appointment. I'm a very high strung person and just the thought of being late for something makes me sweat, and not just a little glow or perspiration, I mean excessive sweating including, but not limited to to, my armpits, wasteline & feet. So I rush home like a maniac to get the precious referral letter, rush like mad to the doctors office only to discover that the referral letter they so desperately needed had already been faxed to them by my insurance company WEEKS ago!!!!!  I was mad, but decided it wasn't time to make a scene, so I just took deep breaths, stuffed some tissues in my soggy armpits (and thank you Jesus for deodorant!  Thank goodness I didn't actually stink and believe me of this I am certain, I kept checking) and proceeded to fill out the gobs and wads of paperwork.  So I finish the paperwork and then I'm just forced to wait around, so I take a look at all the women in the waiting room with me, young, old, pretty, ugly, clean, dirty, this waiting room had them ALL. There were two couples there both expecting new babies and it just so happend that the wife of one couple and the husband in the other used to work at 7-11 together, they had a great old time reminiscing about their late nights working together, made me wonder if maybe THEY had a secret love child together...then the lady who used to work at 7-11 decided to show her old co-worker and his wife her tatoo, she has 2 kids already and she's pregnant with her third. After every kid she has she has little baby booties tatooed on her upper arm, she was so proud of the tatoos, and went on & on about what a fantastic tatoo artist she had and blah, blah, blah.  Let me tell you people, you haven't lived until you see an old saggy arm with two ugly bootie tattos on it!!

Then there was another lady there with two daughters she brought to her appointment with her. They were cute little girls, when the mom first came in she kept calling them Lily and Rose. And I thought that was kinda sweet, so then my mind wandered to what she might name her new baby, maybe Daisy, or Hyacinth?   Then after the mom had signed in and got settled in her seat she suddenly started calling the very same children, Delilah and Espirella (???!!!) I was completely confused, where the children named Lily and Rose or Delilah and Espirella?? And the even better question would be why on earth would anyone ever name their child Delilah or Espirella? The poor children would actually respond to either name!!! IT WAS CRAZY!

Then there were all the dirty pregnant women. It really started to annoy me.  What is it? Now that some women get pregnant they suddenly lose the ability to bathe??  It was grossing me out! All the the oily hair, dirty, stretched out clothes, just completely smelly looking!!! WHY OH WHY ARE PEOPLE CONTENT WITH BEING FILTY!!!???  Just them being disgusting made me gag.  One lady even had a good 1/3 - 1/4 of her pregnant gut HANGING OUT OF THE BOTTOM OF HER SHIRT!  I understand some pregnant women don't have much money, but geez! Go to Walmart and buy some big mens shirt on the clearance rack, so something! Anything but let your belly just completely hang out!

So after a good 15 minutes of people watching I just got really tired of it.  So I look around for some kind of reading material, but there was NOTHING.  The only thing I had to choose from was the yellow pages!  And last I checked that's not exactly that exciting. So I just kept people watching for 45 minutes until they finally called my name. At that point I was tired of waiting, and I was irritated, an annoyed and irritated pregnant lady NOT a good combo.  Thankfully the nurse who talked with me was nice, only problem was she had massive facial hair, really, really bad. Like a thick mustach and a pretty massive and VERY noticable collection of chin hairs that were just begging to be plucked. I just kept focusing on her eyes, just willing myself to not let my eyes wander to the facial hair.

That was about the most exciting part of the appointment, I never even met the doctor, just talked to the nurse about my health and the fact that no one in my family has any freakish birth defects (thank you Jesus). It was an all around boring and completely waste of the sick time off I had to use to even leave work for the stupid appointment.  

How many of you use the term "what not"? I for one think it's silly and I don't ever really find myself needing to use it.  But I've recently talked to some people who use the term "or that" in the way others use the term "what not". And these people used the term "or that" freakishly often.  These are some recent statements these lovely people have spoken to me:

"Did you made Baked Ziti or that for David before he left for deployment?"  (What do you suppose the or that is suggesting?  Maybe the sides I served with the Baked Ziti?  The salad & garlic bread???)

"I made a cake or that for Sally's birthday party" (Did she make other desserts that matched the cake? Cookies, candy, etc??)

"I fixed the leaky faucet or that for my sister in law" (Was there also a leaky toilet and bathtub? Seriously, what the heck does or that even mean?)

"How is your pregnancy or that going?" (Okay, this one really floored me.  Do they mean maybe I'm really not pregnant, but just really constipated? What on earth does it mean?)

In my opinion this "or that" spell that these people have been cast under is more annoying and more stupid that anything else I've ever heard, this beats out the teenage girls who use the term "like" too often. Example:

"I went to the mall and like got a sweater and like I look so like HOT in it, like totally!"

Or the insecure people who just say "um" way too often Example:

"I've never gone on an ummmmm...date, with a girl, ummmmm....One time ummmm...there was this pretty girl who worked at the ummmm...Office Depot. She helped me ummmmmm....pick out a pocket protector and ummmm...and thought she was pretty ummm...yeah, pretty."

Do you see my confusion?  I've seriously NEVER HEARD the term "or that" and I'm asking everyone who might be reading this to PLEASE help me understand!

Annie